The Good Life
by MadForSpike
Summary: Life can be many things, good, bad, and everything in between. Life was perfect until it all came crashing down. I'm Buffy Anne Summers, I'm 17 years old and I have just moved from Los Angeles to Sunnydale California, looking for a fresh start with my Mom and my baby sister Dawn. AU / All Human / SPUFFY
1. Prologue

**Chapter One: ****Prologue**

Life can be many things, good, bad, and everything in between. Life was perfect until it all came crashing down. I'm Buffy Anne Summers, I'm 18 years old and I have just moved from Los Angeles to Sunnydale California, looking for a fresh start with my Mom and my baby sister Dawn.

I used to think I could never leave behind my life in LA, the 'Cool' capital of the world; however that quickly changed when I fell for Parker Abrams. Parker appeared to be a smart, kind and sensitive guy, and after a couple of weeks of flirting I made the big decision of giving him my virginity. The following day I was so excited to see Parker and begin our new beautiful relationship together, or so I thought. I quickly discovered that Parker's sweet and sensitive routine was mostly an act and he had only been interested in a one-night stand, and had already moved on to a new girl. I quickly became very depressed; little did I know things were only going to get worse.

Joyce met Hank Summers at the prom during her freshman year of college. Joyce did not have a date, but Hank did. My Mom and Dad's relationship had been deteriorating for years in LA; however the last straw came for my Mom when Dad cheated on her with his secretary. Mom took no time at all in filing for divorce from my Dad and decided to pursue her dream of opening her own art gallery. It didn't take long for Mom to find the gallery in Sunnydale, who practically begged her for her services to save there diminishing gallery, and we were soon packing up our life in LA and were on our way to our new life in California.

Mom got the house choice just right, it's a beautiful two story, American Craftsman style home, with full basement and is situated at 1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale. A wide concrete sidewalk leads up from the curb, through the middle of the front yard, past lovely tall palms and other trees and through a gap in a low hedge that fronts the porch, to a short flight of steps that lead up to the front door, on either side of which are picture windows flanked by tall, narrower windows. The porch, spans the width of the house and overhangs part of the houses roof, which is supported by four pillars, the two beside the steps have brick pedestals. Facing the house, the driveway is to the right which leads alongside the house and the backyard stretches back to a fence which opens onto an alley.

The first floor is occupied by the foyer that leads into the hallway off of which, facing away from the street, the dining room opens on the right and the living room opens on the left. The sitting room is located at the end of the hallway. The kitchen lies beyond the dining room, offering access to both the sitting room to its right and to the rear porch. A short flight of steps leads from the back porch into the back yard. A staircase leads from the foyer to the upper floor of the residence.

The neighbours look nice and friendly enough, they don't look like axe murders so that's a good start I suppose. I'm dreading tomorrow though, it just so happens to be my first day at Sunnydale High School. I'm so stressed about making a good impression and I'm really worried that I'm going to have tonnes of work to catch up on, so I can't help but wonder how it's going to go. But I guess I shouldn't worry about that right now, I have more pressing things on my mind, like having to fight Dawn for the best bedroom.

The second floor of the house contains three bedrooms and one bathroom. The master bedroom, facing the rear of the house, is now occupied by my Mom and I have claimed the front bedroom. Between these, there is a third room, which has become Dawn's bedroom. The bathroom is across the hall from my bedroom and my mom also has access from the master bedroom. I believe I've got the best bedroom, It's a nice size and I just need to unpack my stuff and paint it a better colour to make it feel like mine, the horrible green flock wallpaper adorning the walls at the moment has to go, quickly, along with the dodgy matching carpet.

We are all starting to feel like were settled in now; the house is starting to feel more like home, with the old familiar nick-knacks and embarrassing baby photos. All in all the house just needs a lick of paint, and as I sit here, in my new room, all I know is that the fearful day is drawing closer, the day I start Sunnydale High. I'm seriously afraid that I'm going to be behind in all my classes, that I won't make any friends, that I have last month's hair. I guess that Sunnydale High will be a total culture shock for me, being popular was cool and everything but now with this new start, I think I'll try to blend into the background and finish school, with good grades, and of course I'll hopefully make some new friends, being normal instead of a bitch is just so much easier isn't it?


	2. The Scooby Gang

**Chapter Two: The Scooby Gang**

"Buffy! Get up or you're going to be late for school!"

Great, those weren't exactly the words I wanted to hear today. Why couldn't it be...? 'Buffy, don't bother getting up, school is cancelled, don't worry about it' Well I can dream can't I? It seems like Dawn is more enthusiastic than me, bouncing around the kitchen island, which cannot be healthy at this time in the morning.

I half-heartedly tucked into the breakfast my Mom had laid out for me, orange juice and scrambled egg on toast, the old familiar. I didn't really feel like eating but you know what mothers are like as well as I do, they will totally bite your head off, call you ungrateful or list all the problems that will occur if you don't eat anything. Once I had finished forcing down my breakfast I was off to my bedroom to find something to wear, usually most girls would be panicking about what to wear for their first day at a new school, but not me, and I was showered and dressed in less than 15 minutes. Okay so it did help that I was up till 11 o'clock last night, rushing around and pulling my hair out, trying to choose my outfit for the big day. I don't think I'll be that organised every day, it will probably all go down the pan tomorrow.

I fidgeted in the front seat of the car, all the way down to the school; maybe a skirt wasn't a good idea. Once I got out the car the nervous Buffy was still unfortunately resident, even after the 'You'll make friends in no time' pep talk from my Mom. I felt like I couldn't be myself right away and that I just had to get into the swing of things and test the water first. I leaned back into the car window to say goodbye to my Mom and Dawn and then I was off. The few people that checked me out on the way in helped give me a boast in the confidence category. I found my way to the office with no problem and was handed my class schedule. Without having chance to scan it I was herded into the principal's office where Principal R. Snyder introduced me to my first friend that I would get at Sunnydale High, or so I hoped, Willow Rosenberg.

Willow was to be the one to show me around, introduce me to new people and get me caught up with the work that I had missed. Fortunately for me this was not as much as I had originally feared, as it was only a few months into the New Year I hadn't missed much. It was well known at Sunnydale High that Willow was the person to talk to when you wanted to get caught up, resident smarty-pants as it were, but she was also one of the nicest and coolest people I had ever met. We hit it off pretty well and she introduced me to some of her friends and in no time I was part of the group, just where I needed to be. I met the whole group at lunch on my first day, luckily I was in most of my classes with Willow and it looked like most of the people sat before me were also in them as well, so I felt like I was going to be okay.

"Hey Guys." Willow said cheerily to the group. She hardly got a response out of them as they were all staring at me, I assumed they were mostly wondering who I was, well I hoped so any way… 'Oh crap.'

"Everybody this is Buffy. She's just moved here from LA and Buffy this is the gang."

"Hi." I said in the coolest voice I could muster, I also backed it up with a very lame wave, instantly regretting it, as it kind of cancelled out my cool 'hi', but still at least the rest of the group overlooked it and actually responded to me. I even got a few waves out of the group, so I tried to ignore my lameness and mentally slapped myself to make up for it. Willow then introduced me to each person.

"This is Xander and that's his girlfriend Cordelia over there with Angel," Willow pointed to another table where it looked like the popular people sat. "This is Oz my boyfriend, Anya, Tara and Spike." Willow concluded after pointing out person for me. I sat down with the group and they seemed to warm to me right away, however I did notice the intense look that Spike was giving me, I looked up at him and gave him a smile which he seemed to be okay with, as he smiled back at me. I felt like I shouldn't barge into their conversation but they all seemed to try and include me, by asking my opinion and that, but as I sat there in comfortable silence, becoming way too engrossed with the sandwich my Mom had made me bring, I totally zoned out on what the rest of them were talking about.

"The Scooby Gang?" I asked questionably, arching an eyebrow, evidently this had tuned into my brain waves.

"Um yea, we all meet after school in the library and do stuff; it's sort of like having a club, but only us go, and the librarian Giles. He's okay and he lets us hang out there after school." Xander answered.

"Do you want to meet us there after school, we will make you an honouree member of the Scooby gang." said Willow, a lot of hope in her voice. This made me smile, people actually wanted me to join their club and it was only the first day of school. I felt like they didn't pity me anymore and they actually wanted to be my friends.

"Sure, I'm not doing anything."

The rest of lunch went really well, I listened to everyone as they told me the story of their lives, Spike was the least willing to speak and hardly said a word but from what I did hear, I could tell was that he was English. I knew how he felt; I wasn't exactly willing to share my life story just yet either. I like to think I'm a strong person, I didn't want to burden the guys with my crappy life story as I didn't need people feeling sorry for me. I had only just got here and I wanted to make friends, which I now had done. I knew they would find out eventually, but for now it was too soon. So I told them the most of it, I just left out the part about Parker and my Dad. They seemed to accept it so that was okay by me.

The end of lunch came around way to quick and I was starting to feel really comfortable around this new group of people, apart from the sense of panic that came over me when I realised Willow wasn't in my next class. 'Crap.'

"What does everyone have next?" I asked pretending that I was just asking out of curiosity, but listening very intently.

"Well we all have Computing."

"Oh. What all of you?" Oh god, I thought, I'm so going to get lost and be on my own…

"Except me luv, I've got drama what 'bout you?" Spike piped up.

'Thank the heavens I love you!' "Yea me too!"

"Right. So have you got computing tomorrow first period?"

"Um… yea I think so." looking at Willow for verification, she nodded.

"You've got that with me as well then." He smiled, I swear I melted.

When the bell went off signalling the end of lunch, we all got up and left in different directions, after saying goodbye of course. Spike led the way to where we had drama, which was in a huge room with a stage that looked like a real theatre. Spike told me this is where they actually held the school concerts and plays. We chatted along the way about various things, like what I thought of the school so far and what other classes I had. I was glad to find out that we were in all the same classes. It was so cool and he was really nice, and boy did I have a crush on him already, probably due to the fact that he actually listened to me when I was talking which I found very refreshing, as most boys back in LA would just nod and stare at my breasts but not Spike. Spike was different, he was very unusual, he had that look about him that he was dangerous and about to punch your lights out, but he wasn't, he was just awesome.

Okay I'm still sounding lame but I can't help it, there is no other way to describe him he's just Spike. He seemed very popular and everyone would say 'Hi' to him as we walked down various corridors and he even introduced me to a few people. As we walked passed others he would whisper to me to keep out of there way as they were a nasty piece of work or something like that, which I was very grateful for, I felt like he was really looking out for me. I was a bit disappointed when we finally reached the lesson as we had to split up and the teacher was very over dramatic and made me stand before the class and introduce myself and say a little about where I came from and all that crap. It wasn't that bad, although I just wish I could have prepared for it. Luckily the class were just starting a new project where we had to get into different groups and act out various parts of Romeo and Juliet. I almost beamed when I found out I would be in Spike's group, I think he was too, because when he joined the group that we had formed with our chairs he gave me a wink and a huge smile, that's it I'm a goner!


	3. The Bronze

**Chapter Three: The Bronze**

So after class Spike led me to the library, it was smaller than I imagined although somehow it managed to look quite cosy, if that was a word to describe it, I don't know. When we arrived everyone was there, except Xander and Cordelia.

"Hey guys." I refrained from waving this time, seeming how lame it was last time.

"Hi Buffy, How did drama go?" Willow asked.

"Yea it was good, she was good." Spike said and gave me a smile, I smiled back and Willow gave me a suspicious look.

"What?" I said dubiously. Willow however didn't get a chance to answer as Xander and Cordelia came bursting in looking a little dishevelled, I'm not a genius but anyone could tell what they were had been up to. They both greeted us but only Xander had the decency to look embarrassed, Cordelia just complained that she didn't really want to be there, but Xander had made her come along as he did her a favour, we didn't ask anymore. About 5 minutes later the librarian came out of his office and greeted the gang.

"Hey Giles," Willow said "This is Buffy she just moved here from LA."

I smiled in his direction as he came over to shake my hand.

"Hello Buffy it's nice to meet you, I guess we will be seeing a lot more of you around here." 'Okay very British, I should remember that. I wonder if he is related to Spike? I glanced in Spike's direction and he just gave me a look.'

"No relation luv if that's what you were thinking!"

'Okay he can read my mind; I hope he can't do that all the time…' "Oh right. Just checking." 'Okay like I would care he couldn't get any less sexy, he is way to the max with that one, who! Did my brain just say that?'

I went and sat with Willow and she told me about all the sort of things they get up to after school, like helping Giles research things, helping each other out with homework or just helping out around the library. Sometimes they played games, good ones not lame ones, just something to pass the time and take the mickey out of each other. It was just something they all did to spend more time together, instead of going home and being bored. Cordelia rarely came along and when she did all she did was moan about being there, but Xander told us that deep down she would rather be there than be at home because she hated being around her friends all the time and actually liked hanging out with the rest of the gang. However we all knew she wouldn't say this out loud, it was just a shame really because I think I could really relate to her, seeming as I once was really popular, but oh well.

Today we helped Giles do a spring clean of the library, polish and all. Usually I wouldn't be one for cleaning but I found it really fun and a right laugh, especially when Xander pulled a book off the shelf and got completely covered in dust, now that was a Kodak moment. I hope no one tells my Mom I helped clean or I will never hear the end of it!

"Hey Buff?" I've only been here a day and I'm starting to get nicknames, this brought a smile to me face. At least it wasn't a bad nickname like 'Buffy the Puffy' which Dawn used to call me when I cried and my eyes went red.

"Yea?" I replied.

"Oz's bad are playing at the Bronze tonight do you want to go?" Willow asked.

"Yea I'll love too, I'll just have to ask my Mom first, but I'm sure it will be okay. What's the bronze?"

"Oh, it's the best club in town, well only club actually, everyone goes there. I'll meet you if you want and we can go together." Willow said.

"Cool okay that will be great."

We spent a good 2 hours after school helping Giles out in the Library and when we had all decided that we were going to go to the Bronze, we decided it was a good time to go home and get ready. We left Giles in the Library and went our separate ways home. I bounded into our house to find Mom and Dawn in the kitchen.

"Hey Mom. Hey Dawnie, how was your day?" I asked helping myself to an apple.

"It was good. I made a few friends and I've been invited to a sleepover already at Janice's house, she was the one who showed me around."

"How was your day Buffy?" Mom asked.

"Oh it was great, I've made loads of new friends and they have invited me out tonight to a club, isn't that cool? I've only been there a day and they've invited me out and made friends with me. I was with them after school, sorry I was late I should have called, but I didn't know the number, so is it okay if I go out tonight? Please mom!"

"Okay give me a second to process all that information…Its fine with me, just be careful."

"So who showed you around Buffy?" Dawn asked.

"A girl called Willow; she's really nice and introduced me to her group of friends." I said replaying the look of Spikes smile in my mind.

"Girls… I think we're really going to fit in here and it already looks like you both are happy here."

"We are." We said in unison, smiling back at Mom.

Mom was right, we really were fitting in well in Sunnydale and I was glad Dawn was getting off to a good start at her new school just as well as I was. After our little conversation in the kitchen we moved to the living room and Mom enthusiastically told us about her first day at the gallery, she was really excited about getting it back on its feet and had tonnes of great ideas about how to do it, I'm really happy for her.

For the rest of the afternoon all three of us vegged out on the couch with a large tub of ice cream and movies, but when the evening rolled in I had to get ready for my night out at the Bronze. I was so excited I was going out with a bunch of friends who accepted me for who I was and not what I was about. My first day could have gone either way, I could have fallen in with the popular crowd and never got out or I could of been seen as a stuck up LA girl and made no friends, but luckily for me it didn't work out that way and I'm thankful for that, I can now truly be myself.

Now I have to get my outfit right, this is a casual meeting but at a club, my friends will be there, but Spike will also be there and I want him to notice me. Okay yes, I admit it I have a crush on him! I can't help it, it's just that he's so gorgeous, with the hair, which is kind of dodgy but really suits him and the leather coat really does it for me. I must stop obsessing now and get dressed, yes clothes, clothes good; I wonder what Spike would look like without any clothes on? …Bad Buffy!

Willow arrived at my house at 8 o'clock sharp and I answered the door, after shouting at Dawn and Mom not to answer it, I didn't need my Mom embarrassing me in front of my first proper friend in Sunnydale did I?

"Hey Buffy."

"Hey Will, ready to go?"

"Sure. Buffy you look great, not trying to impress anyone are we?" Okay now I know she's got me sussed. I smiled at her and she gave me one of those knowing smiles in return, yep I'm busted…

"Bye honey, have a nice time." My Mom said taking me by surprise. Don't you hate it when they sneak up behind you? I guessed she was probably just trying to see what Willow looked like; to make sure I wasn't getting in with the wrong crowd or anything.

"Mom this is Willow, Willow this is my Mom."

"Nice to meet you Mrs Summers." Mom smiled back at Willow, I think she was impressed.

"And you too Willow."

It had only taken me 2 hours to get ready and I had got the perfect outfit, casual but also sexy looking, and without looking like I'd tried too hard. I was wearing a black miniskirt with knee high boots, which was obviously the sexy part, with a white tank top, which was the casual part. I think I looked pretty good, well actually I knew it. On the way to the Bronze, Willow invited me over to her house for a sleepover which she was having tomorrow night, seeming as it was Friday I didn't think Mom would mind me not being in the house on a weekend. Willow persuaded me more by saying Spike was going. "Ok I'm there."

We walked into the Bronze and it was heaving and it looked to be a really cool place from what I could tell. I could see the band on the stage and Willow was obviously very excited, as she kept telling everyone her boyfriend was in the band and kept pointing towards the stage, it was quite sweet actually. When Willow finally spotted the rest of the gang, sat at a table near the stage, we made our way over. It was then I spotted Spike, god did he look good; he was wearing black jeans and a blue t shirt. When I came to stand in front of the table, I could almost see his jaw drop to the floor and when I greeted him he had trouble getting his words out.

"Um... Hi... Buffy." Oh yea I looked good.


	4. The Sleepover

**Chapter Four: The ****Sleepover**

I was so buzzed about Willow's sleepover, mainly because I knew Spike was going to be there, but also because this was it, I was totally one of the gang now. I fully expected there to be secrets and revelations shared, it was going to be one great night and I knew I had the 'talk' coming with Willow; she kept giving me that look.

At the Bronze, the night before, I danced with everyone and people kept telling me how good I looked, which was so cool. I even got to dance with Spike once, he was so nervous when he asked me, it was so sweet, and just my luck a slow song came on just at that moment. I'm pretty sure Willow had something to do with it because she was over at the stage talking to Oz at the time, so who knows. It felt so good to be in his strong arms and to have his body pressed so close to mine, I could touch him whilst swaying to the music and it felt so sexy. I don't think either of us was bothered about that; let's just say I could tell, because I wasn't the only one with a huge grin on my face for the rest of the night.

I made my way over to Willow's at 7 o'clock, dragging my pillows, sleeping bag and blanket with me. I also had a few large bags of chips and plenty of Pepsi, which Willow said I should bring. Mom decided that she didn't want to help me get all my stuff into Willow's house and just watched from the car as I tried to ring on the doorbell. I managed to lean myself up against the door, cushioned by all my stuff, and rang the bell. Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough at gathering my things back up into my arms, so as Willow opened the door; I went flying through it and landed on top of my sleeping bag and pillows in her doorway. It was just my luck that I was the last to arrive, so of course everyone saw me go arse over tit and was stood around laughing at me. Having no dignity left, I picked myself up off the floor and waved my Mom away, who also was laughing, as the rest of the guys decided to finally help me sort my things out, all except Xander who only came over to rescue the food and quickly disappeared into the kitchen.

We spent the whole evening watching DVD's and eating junk food. When it started to get really late and everyone started to fall asleep, the boys set up downstairs and the rest of us girls went up into Willow's room. Anya and Tara fell asleep right away but Willow and I stayed up and talked.

"So Buffy, what do you think of Spike?"

"I knew I had this coming, I've been trying to avoid it all night." She just smiled at me and I knew she had got me.

"So do you like him?"

"I don't know Willow; I've only known him for a couple of days."

"I'm not falling for that missy!"

"Okay…I like him."

"Like him? Is that it? What do you think about him?"

"Well…he is good looking for a start and was really nice to me on my first day and…"

"And what?"

"Okay Will stop pushing me!" I pleaded.

"Buffy this is my resolve face; it means no one can mess with me!"

"Okay, Okay I really like him! I think about him all the time, I think I'm falling for him…I know it's really soon, but I can't help it!"

"I knew it!"

"I don't know if he will ever like me back though."

"Well…we will just have to wait and find out…I knew it!"

I don't know what I had been so worried about, the chat had gone okay. It actually felt really good to get it all out in the open, well with Willow anyway. I feel like I have someone to talk about it with now, I really think we are going to be best friends.

After finishing my chat with Willow I got into my sleeping bag and tried to go to sleep. It didn't take long for me to realise that everyone had fallen asleep except me. I had the unfortunate situation of being put next to Anya, meaning I was being kept awake by her horrendous snoring. I decided to go downstairs and get a drink of water and couldn't resist having a peek at the guys in the living room, 'Wow… doesn't Spike look good in a sleeping bag?' I've got it bad.

On my way back to Willow's bedroom I forgot which door it was, while trying all the doors upstairs, I wasn't looking where I was going and walked slap bang into Spike, but oh my god, Spike with no top on! He looked just as surprised as I was but managed to say "hey" while I didn't even have the brain power to make a greeting at that moment. My brain was on overload trying not to dribble on his chest, and then it managed to kick in.

"Hey Spike…umm you don't know which doors Willow's do ya?"

"Um yea." He replied, turning round and pointing at a door at the end of the hallway.

"Thanks."

"No prob, cya in the morning." Then he sauntered off…. Yea shake that butt!

When we all woke in the morning, we followed Xander's example by eating the leftover food from the night before for breakfast, I ended up feeling very sick as I made my way home.

When I got home my room was still a mess from all the unpacking, I felt determined to get it finished, and so I decided to lie on my bed just for a second. However next thing I knew the phone was ringing and it was 6 o'clock in the evening.

"Hello?"

"Hey Buffy, I got your number off Willow, I hope you don't mind?"

"No its fine Angel, what's up?"

"I just wondered if you would like to go out tonight."

Wow he sounds hopeful, I can't believe he's asking me out on a date, what do I say? How could Willow give him my number when she knows I like Spike? I'm going to kill her.

"Yea that sounds good, give me 5 minutes and I'll be ready."

"Cool."

I felt really bad because I actually couldn't be bothered to dress up, as I didn't want to make it look like I was really eager to go out with him, but nice enough so I didn't look like a hobo. I dressed in a pair of nice jeans, tank top and zip up hooded jacket.

Angel took me out for a pizza and then a walk in the park, it was really nice and we really got to know each other. We talked about each other's background, school, friends, and all the works.

"You're really not what I thought Buffy."

"That either means I'm nicer than you thought or you actually think I'm really dull?"

Angel smiled "What I mean is you're different to the typical blonde girl persona."

"Oh I see... yea I don't like to live up to the image and try to be different to what people expect, my Mom says I'm too independent for my own good."

"I would ask you out again but I don't think you're my type, not to be rude or anything."

"Na it's okay I understand. You're not really my type either but it was really good to get to know you."

"Yea likewise. God, I can tell why he likes you."

"Likes me? Who?"

"Oh I can't tell you that! It would break the bonds of brotherhood or whatever."

"Oh come on Angel...please?" I gave him the best smile I could muster.

"Okay...how can I resist? It's Spike."

"Spike? Spike likes me? You're kidding, did he tell you this? Give me details and indication of facial expressions?" I said a little obsessively.

"Yea at Willow's thing last night after you bumped into each other. He said you we're really cute." All I could do was smile, I was so happy, I couldn't believe it. "You like him too, don't you?"

"If you can keep a secret…then yes I really do… A lot…Please don't tell him."

"I promise I won't."


	5. Painting

**Chapter Five: Painting**

I felt like I was walking on cloud nine for the rest of the week. Even Willow kept looking at me suspiciously. Of course she knew the reason why, but my good mood was freaking everyone out I guess, even Mom said I was smiling a lot more, Dawn said the same but we had one of those sisterly chats so she now knows everything as well.

School was getting harder as it was nearing Christmas, there were exams and everything to deal with on top of the Christmas play, Romeo and Juliet. It looked like our teacher had been measuring us up in class for who should play which part, as Spike was offered the part of Romeo and had accepted there was no way I could turn down the role of Juliet could I?

Another added pressure was the Christmas concert, I know it's crazy but once I heard Spike was performing in it with his band I had to as well. Actually Willow suggested it to me at first because she thought I was a fantastic dancer, but I thought with all the exams and the work I had to catch up on and now the Christmas play, it was a lot of work and decided against it. When I went home that night I had this dream about me singing in the Christmas concert and getting Spike to fall deeply and madly in love with me, it seemed crazy but at the time it made sense, it also could of have had something to do with watching the film Love Actually before bed, but never mind.

Willow was shocked when she found me signing my name on the sign up board. "You're going to sing?"

"Yep that's the plan."

Willow then had the right to look intrigued, smiling she said "What plan?" I then proceeded to fill her in on my master plan, however when I was finished Willow didn't look as impressed as I thought she would and I was starting to get worried. "It sounds like a great plan Buffy…"

"But?"

"Can you actually sing?"

Ah there it was...the one flaw in my plan.

I felt like nothing could stop me now, I was working so hard, Willow was catching me up and testing me for the exams after school and I was working with Spike during our free periods on the play. During my lunch break I was secretly having singing lessons, my singing teacher said I was a natural so that filled me with confidence. All the hours of extra work finally caught up with me during one of our play practice sessions, I feel asleep at the part where I was supposed to be dead. Spike found this rather amusing and mocked me when I woke up with a start, he of course had to tell the Scooby's at lunch, which was really embarrassing.

"So guys... are you all still coming around on Saturday to help with the painting?" Spike asked.

"Painting?" I asked.

"Yea...you're all coming round to help me paint my room."

"Oh I didn't know that, I'm in though."

"Oh yea... I forgot to ask you because you are never here at lunchtime." Spike said apologetically.

"Oh god! I've got to go."

"Where do you run off to every lunch Buff?" Xander enquired.

"It's a surprise, you'll find out soon."

Willow just sat there looking smug, that was until everyone noticed and focused on her.  
"What? I don't know anything!"

xxx

When Saturday came we all arrived at Spike's house at 12 o'clock and he led us up to his room where he had already removed most of his furniture and covered the rest up with dust sheets.

"Wow mate, glad you called us round. I can't believe your room is still lime green." Xander said taking in his surroundings.

"Whatever whelp, At least mine isn't yellow and pink!" Spike replied, finishing with a laugh.

"They are …. Very warm colours…My room next week guys?" we all nodded in agreement.

"So Spike," I asked "What colour we painting your room then?"

Spike opened the tin with a flourish, just like they do on those DIY shows and produced a really lovely deep burgundy colour.

"Red? God mate are you gay?" Xander joked.

"There's nothing wrong with red, it's a very warm and romantic colour." I said.

Willow gave me a funny look and everyone just stared at me, I tried to move the conversation on so I could stop feeling so awkward. "Erm…So where are the paintbrushes?"

xxx

Painting with the gang was so much fun especially when Xander forgot where he had left his paint tray. He ended up standing in it and then leaving footprints all over the dust sheet Spike had thankfully put down. At about 1 o'clock we all decided that we were hungry, so the gang went out to grab the pizza and left Spike and I still painting the room.

"So Buff, I hear you're performing in the Christmas concert what you doing?"

"I can't tell you that, it's a surprise." I replied coquettishly.

"Oh come on, you can tell me right?"

"You'll just have to wait and see like everyone else." I said with a smile and bent over to dip my brush back into the paint. I felt something hit me on the bum and turned around to find Spike laughing at me. I pulled off the dust sheet covering Spike's mirror and found a red hand print on my jeans.

"I can't believe you did that! These are my favourite jeans!" I shouted feigning anger. I failed miserably as I actually found the whole situation quite amusing, I started laughing.

"Why are you wearing them while painting then?"

I couldn't tell him I wore them to make myself look good because they made my arse look amazing. I also couldn't let him see me in my old decorating jeans! "I like to look good at all times." I replied smugly.

"Whatever Summers, some of us don't need special jeans to make us look good." he said smirking back at me - god I love it when he does that! Spike then made the mistake of turning away from me, so I decided to return the favour and left two red handprints on his black t-shirt. At first I expected him to be angry but when he turned around he was smiling, albeit menacingly. "You're gonna get it Summers."

Next thing I knew Spike had lifted me up into the air and planted me, arse first, into the paint tray. I got up and flicked my paint brush at him, covering his face and t-shirt in red paint. I thought that was it but next thing I knew he had poured almost a quarter of the tin of paint over my head causing me to fall to my knees unable to stop laughing. By now I was completely covered in paint and Spike was bent double laughing so hard that he didn't notice me grab hold of his legs. I managed to pull him to the floor, quickly straddled him and poured the rest of the paint over him. He then managed to push me off him and we ended up lying side-by-side laughing our heads off and trying to catch our breath.

"I think we should get cleaned up don't you?" Spike said surveying the mess around us.

"Yea I think so; I think my ears are full of paint." I said sticking a finger in my ear trying to relieve the muffled sound of my own voice in my ears.

Spike got up first and held out a hand to pull me up. I wasn't expecting him to be so strong so I ended up falling straight into his chest. I was about to say sorry until I looked into his eyes and couldn't mistake what I saw there. It was as if we could read each other's minds when we both began to lean into each other. I was aware of some many things, Spike's breathing, his arms holding on to me so tight and his lips coming towards mine, this was it…

"What the hell happened in here?" Willow exclaimed from the doorway. The moment was shattered and I don't think we could have spring boarded away from each other that fast again if we tried.

Spike spoke up first "We just had a minor incident with the paint..."

We both fell into fits of laughter.


	6. Romeo Romeo

**Chapter Six: Romeo, Romeo**

Christmas was nearing ever closer and so was my stage début. Well technically two stage debut's with the school production and the Christmas concert. Things had been quite awkward between Spike and me since we nearly kissed in his room. I had started to notice things were outlandish when I realised we had totally been pussyfooting around the kissing scenes in Romeo and Juliet, so we hadn't actually practiced them and so, to my disappointment, our actual first kiss would be in the production in front of the cast and about 250 other people. Oh Well first time for everything I suppose.

The singing lessons had continued to go well and to my amazement I had found two people willing to be backup singers for me. One being a girl called Faith who I met in the gym, we both as it seemed liked to work out when we were stressed. I discovered Faith's talent when she was singing along to the radio, realising we had something in common, I confided in her about my secret project and she was the one who volunteered to sing back up for me. She told me that she was forced into her local choir by her mother when she was younger and hadn't stopped singing since. My other victim was actually Tara, the whole gang went to a karaoke night at the Bronze and she was the only one of us who had the confidence to get up and sing. She had an amazing voice, which was such a surprise as she is usually so shy and unassuming. So after her song I pounced on her the soonest moment I could get her alone and let her in on my secret performance and after a little persuasion she accepted to sing back up for me as well, so all systems are go!

The night before the school production of Romeo and Juliet I was petrified, even though my Mom kept trying to reassure me that everything would be fine. Dawn just kept trying to lighten the mood and make me feel better by cracking jokes about me messing up my lines and constantly telling me to 'break a leg.' Earlier this week we had our costume fitting and full dress rehearsal. My Juliet costume was gorgeous, it was a crushed velvet maroon and gold gown with matching headdress. Once I had finished prancing around in my dress I caught a glance of Spike fidgeting in his costume, he looked so yummy even though he looked so awkward in it, yet I thought he looked fantastic to me.

Then to make me feel much worse…

"Five minutes to curtain people." Mr Giles called.

'Arrrrggghhhhhhhh! Breathe Buffy, Breathe Buffy!'

I surprised myself at how quickly my nerves dissipated and after my first scene; I was no longer nervous and was actually enjoying the whole thing. I just itched to get back on the stage when I wasn't in a scene and I loved watching Spike when he was on stage, with much interest, and I realised he had a pure talent for acting. But the one thing I did know was that our first scene together was coming up and I was so excited that I could have exploded. But really if I was honest, I really just couldn't wait for our first kiss. I got the feeling Spike was feeling nervous about our next scene however that thought quickly vanished when he started his lines…

Spike: (Taking my hand) '_if I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.'_

Me: '_Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.'_

Spike: '_Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?'_

Me: '_Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.'_

Spike: '_O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.'_

_Me: __'Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.'_

Spike: '_Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.'_

Our moment was here and when Spikes lips finally touched mine, my heart sang. I think we actually kissed for longer than we should of, I realised this when my brain registered that there had been silence for longer than necessary. But Spike, ever the professional, managed to keep it together.

Spike: '_Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.'_

Me: '_Then have my lips the sin that they have took.'_

Spike: '_Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.'_

This time we practically leaped at each other, the kiss was filled with so much passion that I could feel it down to my toes. When I stepped away I realised I had the front of his costume bunched up in my hand so I had to let go really quickly.

Me: '_You kiss by th' book.'_

Nurse: '_Madam, your mother craves a word with you.'_

Then just like that the moment was over. The rest of the play went extremely well with no one getting their lines wrong, like they had in dress rehearsal. Even Harmony managed to keep it together as Lady Capulet. The balcony scene was really cool and a right highlight for me, but I had to keep giving myself a reality check to remember it wasn't actually happening to me in real life and was part of the play. If I didn't have lines then I would have been totally lost…

Spike: _'Oh, here, Will I set up my everlasting rest, and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars. From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last. Arms, take your last embrace. And, lips, O you, the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss, a dateless bargain to engrossing death. (Kisses me and takes out the poison from his pocket)_

_'Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide. Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on, the dashing rocks thy seasick, weary bark. Here's to my love! _(Drinks the poison_) O true apothecary, Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die...' _(Romeo dies)

Me: _'What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end. — O churl, drunk all, and left no friendly drop, to help me after? I will kiss thy lips. Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to make me die with a restorative._ (Kisses Romeo) _Thy lips are warm._

_'Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger, this is thy sheath. There rust and let me die.'_

(Juliet stabs herself with Romeo's dagger and dies)

I honestly don't think there was a dry eye in the house. I could hear people sniffling and weeping in the audience, I couldn't see them of course as I was meant to be dead. I was filled with so much happiness that our performance had brought people to tears and made them feel for the story.

_A glooming peace this morning with it brings;__  
__The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:_  
_Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;_  
_Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:_  
_For never was a story of more woe,_  
_Than this of Juliet and her Romeo._

The whole audience then stood, clapped and cheered really loudly. The rest of the cast came out from backstage and bowed. I was helped up by Spike and he pulled me into his arms and hugged me so tight and whispered in my ear. "Buffy we did it, you were fantastic!"

I smiled back at him and whispered "Not as good as you." He then smiled at me in turn and kissed me ever so softly on the lips. He then took my hand as the cast parted and made way for us in the line-up. And as we took our bow I swear the audience got louder.


	7. Too Lost in You

**Chapter Seven: Too Lost In You**

After the great success of the school production I began to feel really unperturbed about my next performance of the year. I just hoped that when the moment came I didn't fall flat on my face and really embarrass myself. My confidence was somewhat helped by my mind being preoccupied on other things, mainly the kiss between Spike and myself. I had to know what Spike meant by that kiss he gave me when the show was over, was it nothing? Did it mean something?

I was now feeling very comfortable with my performance. I even gained the confidence to sing the song in front of Dawn and my Mom; they were quite surprised at my new talent but agreed I was very good. I also previewed the song for Mr Giles who said I sounded fantastic and when I managed to get hold of Tara and Faith, we all performed together for Mr Giles and he said it was going to be one of the best acts in the production, way better than the guy with the ventriloquist dummy! The only thing I was worried about was, not only was I to be the last act in the production but I would also be following Spike and the Dingoes. Mr Giles had also asked me to perform the end of the show Christmas song along with Spike. He had chosen 'All I Want for Christmas' and Spike and I would be singing it together, hopefully with the backing of the Dingoes and Faith and Tara. I had agreed to sing the closing song but only on the condition that it would be kept a secret from Spike until the actual day. I promised to practice the song and to report to Mr Giles regularly with my progress and he readily agreed.

In no time at all, the day of the Christmas concert had arrived, it was now time to see if all my hard work would pay off. I had already sat through most of the boring acts and I had decided to watch the Dingoes from the audience and not backstage as I had originally planned. This was mainly so I could see Spike perform; I knew they were going to do a few songs so I decided to go backstage just before their last one so I could get prepared for my song. I was mesmerized through the first two songs they had sung and I had also noticed that Spike hadn't picked me out in the crowd yet. This was probably because I had purposely stayed out of his eye line and was stood to the side of the hall, ready to duck backstage.

Spike's voice than rang out into the microphone. "I wrote this song for a very special lady, she doesn't know who she is yet but I just want her to know…"

_Beauty queen of only eighteen__  
__She had some trouble with herself_  
_He was always there to help her_  
_She always belonged to someone else_

_I drove for miles and miles__  
__And wound up at your door_  
_I've had you so many times but somehow_  
_I want more_

I decided to then step out of the darkness. When Spike saw me his eyes locked onto mine and it suddenly felt like he was singing directly to me. We barely broke eye contact and when I felt myself begin to smile, I saw Spike blush ever so slightly and he looked down to where he was strumming his guitar.

_I don't mind spending everyday__  
__Out on your corner in the pouring rain_  
_Look for the girl with the broken smile_  
_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_  
_And she will be loved_  
_And she will be loved_

_Tap on my window, knock on my door__  
__I want to make you feel beautiful_  
_I know I tend to get so insecure_  
_It doesn't matter anymore_

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies__  
__It's compromise that moves us along_  
_My heart is full and my door's always open_  
_You can come anytime you want_

_I don't mind spending everyday__  
__Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh_  
_Look for the girl with the broken smile_  
_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_  
_And she will be loved_  
_And she will be loved_  
_And she will be loved_  
_And she will be loved_

By now Spike's face was very intense. He had closed his eyes and was singing so hard; he was completely lost in the song and his performance. It was as if he meant every word and I began to think he was singing it just to me. I hoped with everything I had that I was the 'special lady' he had written the song for.

_I know where you hide__  
__Alone in your car_  
_Know all of the things that make you who you are_  
_I know that goodbye means nothing at all_  
_Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls_

_Tap on my window, knock on my door__  
__I want to make you feel beautiful_

_I don't mind spending every day__  
__Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh_  
_Look for the girl with the broken smile_  
_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_  
_And she will be loved_  
_And she will be loved_  
_And she will be loved_  
_And she will be loved_

_Please don't try so hard to say goodbye__  
__Please don't try so hard to say goodbye_

_I don't mind spending everyday__  
__Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

_Please don't try so hard to say goodbye_

I'm sure Spike would have looked for me now his song was over, but I was gone, I had snuck backstage to get prepared for my performance. My piece now felt like the perfect reply to the song Spike had just sung and even if it wasn't for me, it felt like it was. Now I was determined to give it my all and glad I now had the chance show Spike exactly how I felt. I took off my long black coat to reveal a beautiful strapless black dress, which came to just below my knees and was covered all over in delicate black beads which reflected in the light as I moved. I met Tara and Faith backstage and they were both equally as nervous as me. They were also dressed in black but in plain dresses so I stood out.

Before we took our places, we all hugged each other and held hands in a circle to try and compose ourselves. We then took our places behind the curtain with our microphones. Faith and Tara both had microphones on stands and were stood to the side of me, whereas I was stood in the middle of the stage holding my microphone tightly in my right hand. I could hear Mr Giles on the other side of the curtain.

"And now up next we have a talented young lady. Up to now she has wanted to remain anonymous but I'm pleased to introduce Buffy Summers singing Too Lost in You, here she is." Mr Giles announced and left the stage.

The curtains opened but as requested I didn't want the spotlights to come on until I had started singing. The music began to play and on cue the spotlight started to glow around me.

_You look into my eyes__  
__I go out of my mind_  
_I can't see anything_  
_Cos this love's got me blind_  
_I can't help myself_  
_I can't break the spell_  
_I can't even try_

I could see Spike right in the front row with the rest of the gang and we locked eyes for a second and I knew he had got my point.

_I'm in over my head__  
__You got under my skin_  
_I got no strength at all_  
_In the state that I'm in_

_And my knees are weak__  
__And my mouth can't speak_  
_Fell too far this time_

I could tell that everyone was shocked that I had got the guts to do this and I could feel Spike's gaze on me the whole time. This made me smile and I totally got lost into my performance.

_Baby, I'm too lost in you__  
__Caught in you_  
_Lost in everything about you_  
_So deep, I can't sleep_  
_I can't think_  
_I just think about the things that you do (you do)_  
_I'm too lost in you_  
_(Too lost in you)_

_ooh__  
__Well you whispered to me_  
_And I shiver inside_  
_You undo me and move me_  
_In ways undefined_  
_And you're all I see_  
_And you're all I need_  
_Help me baby (help me baby)_  
_Help me baby (help me now)_

_Cos I'm slipping away__  
__Like the sand to the tide_  
_Falling into your arms_  
_Falling into your eyes_  
_If you get too near_  
_I might disappear_  
_I might lose my mind_

_Baby, I'm too lost in you__  
__Caught in you_  
_Lost in everything about you_  
_So deep, I can't sleep_  
_I can't think_  
_I just think about the things that you do (you do)_  
_I'm too lost in you_  
_(Too lost in you)_

Again I locked eyes with Spike and my gaze never wavered.

_I'm going in crazy in love for you baby__  
__(I can't eat and I can't sleep)_  
_I'm going down like a stone in the sea_  
_Yeah, no one can rescue me_  
_(No one can rescue me)_

_Oooh, my baby__  
__Oooh, baby, baby_

_Baby, I'm too lost in you__  
__Caught in you_  
_Lost in everything about you_  
_So deep, I can't sleep_  
_I can't think_  
_I just think about the things that you do (you do)_  
_I'm too lost in you_

_I'm lost in you__  
__I'm lost in you_  
_I'm lost in everything about you_  
_So deep (so deep), I can't sleep_  
_I can't think_  
_I just think about the things that you do (you do)_  
_I'm too lost in you_  
_(Too lost in you)_

When I finished my last note the audience erupted into a standing ovation, I didn't know what to do so I just stood there and smiled so wide. I almost couldn't believe it was for me until Faith and Tara came rushing over to hug me, squealing in my ears.

"Thank you so much! You guys were great." I said hugging each of them in turn.

"It was all you Buffy." Tara replied.

Mr Giles than came over and placed a hand on my shoulder and said "Well done," and then proceeded to announce the next act.

"Now for our closing act! Spike, The Dingoes and our very own Buffy Summers will be performing a well-known Christmas song. They haven't rehearsed this song all together so Buffy could remain anonymous, but without further ado Buffy, Spike and the Dingoes Ate my Baby."

Spike smiled at me so wide and came over to join me centre stage whilst adjusting his guitar strap.

"You were great love." He said leaning into me.

I whispered back "So were you." We continued to smile at each other while Spike got his microphone stand set to the right height, he then strummed the first few cords of the song and we began to sing together in unison.

_I don't want a lot for Christmas__  
__There's just one thing I need_  
_I don't care about the presents_  
_Underneath the Christmas tree_  
_I just want you for my own_  
_More than you could ever know_  
_Make my wish come true..._  
_All I want for Christmas_  
_Is you..._

_I don't want a lot for Christmas__  
__There is just one thing I need_  
_I don't care about presents_  
_Underneath the Christmas tree_  
_I don't need to hang my stocking_  
_There upon the fireplace_  
_Santa Claus won't make me happy_  
_With a toy on Christmas day_  
_I just want you for my own_  
_More than you could ever know_  
_Make my wish come true_  
_All I want for Christmas is you..._

_I won't ask for much this Christmas__  
__I won't even wish for snow_  
_I'm just gonna keep on waiting_  
_Underneath the mistletoe_  
_I won't make a list and send it_  
_To the North Pole for Saint Nick_  
_I won't even stay awake to_  
_Hear those magic reindeer click_  
_I just want you for my own_  
_More than you could ever know_  
_Make my wish come true_  
_All I want for Christmas is you..._  
_You baby_

_All the lights are shining__  
__So brightly everywhere_  
_And the sound of children's_  
_Laughter fills the air_  
_And everyone is singing_  
_I hear those sleigh bells ringing_  
_Santa won't you bring me the one I really need_  
_Won't you please bring my baby to me_

_I don't want a lot for Christmas__  
__This is all I'm asking for_  
_I just want to see my baby__  
__Standing right outside my door_

_I just want him for my own__  
__More than you could ever know_  
_Make my wish come true_  
_Baby all I want for Christmas is you_  
_and you and you and you and you_

_All I want for Christmas_

The whole time we were singing to each other and only to each other. Once the song was finished there was another standing ovation. This time in front of everyone Spike grabbed me and kissed me hard on the mouth. I was lost for breath and couldn't help but think this was the start of something new.


	8. Sharing

**Chapter Eight - Sharing**

It wasn't a shock to the members of the Scooby gang when Spike and I announced to them Monday morning that we were officially together. Actually according to majority of them, it was a long time coming. Even in the short amount of time I had known them and Spike, they could see we were meant to be together.

After the Christmas concert Spike and I went our separate ways but the following day, he came around my house and properly asked me out. Trying not to sound too enthusiastic, I instantly said "Yes!" and I could have melted into the gorgeous smile he gave me, after all, he did look a nervous wreck when I had answered the door.

Thankfully all of the Scooby's had passed their exams at Christmas so the next thing on our minds was the school prom, the fact that most of us had dates now made it all the more exciting. Even though I was looking forward to the Prom, the thing at the forefront of my mind was Spike's and my first date. It wasn't going to be a big event just a movie and a coffee; we thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get to know each other a little better.

So that evening at 7 o'clock Spike came and met me at my house and I introduced him to my Mom and Dawn. I was quite impressed at how effortlessly Spike blended into our family; he was the complete and perfect gentleman. Dawn had taken quite a liking to him too, he had even given her a nickname, and I think Dawn quite liked being referred to as nibblet.

At about half seven Spike and I left to go to the cinema and saw some really cheesy movie. I'm pretty sure Spike regretted letting me pick the film, he said he enjoyed it but I had a feeling he was just saying that. I let him have the benefit of the doubt and paid for our coffee to make up for it. We sat down at a table near the window of the Espresso Pump and were just talking about general things when the conversation turned a little more serious.

I put my hands around my coffee mug, enjoying the warmth of the cup on my cold hands and leaned forward across the table towards Spike, who did the same, knowing we were now going to have 'the chat' that we both knew was coming.

"So, Spike, why did you come to California?" The look on Spike's face was rather hesitant. I watched his face go through lots of emotions, something that I hadn't seen in him before. "Look, you don't have to tell me, I didn't mean to push you." I said, removing my hands from my mug and leaning back in my chair to show I was backing off. Spike however grabbed hold of my hand to show he didn't mind me asking.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you Buffy, it's just that I haven't told anyone else, not the whole truth anyway so I'm finding it hard to know where to start. I don't want to have secrets from you, it wouldn't be right if we're going to do this thing." He said gesturing between us "But you have to promise me one thing."

"Anything…" I said squeezing Spike's hand in return and in what I hoped was a reassuring gesture.

"You have to tell me your story. I know you're holding something back too, you're just as much a mystery as I am." It was my turn to look troubled. After thinking about it for a moment or two, I soon nodded in agreement; I didn't want to have secrets from him either.

Gesturing at Spike and taking a deep breath I said "Of course, you first though." Spike smiled back at that. He took a sip of his coffee, placing it back on the table in front of him and leaned back in his chair. He then ran his hands through his hair and went back to leaning across the table towards me. Letting out a long breath he did not know he was holding, he began his story.

"It all began with a girl." I could see him immediately tense and so I reached across the table and grabbed hold of his hand to show him I was there for him. "Her name was Drusilla, we were together back in England, she was the love of my life, or so I thought anyway."

"What happened?"

"She lost her patience with me. Because when my mother got sick, I wasn't paying her all the attention she wanted. You see, she was a little bit crazy, a big attention seeker. And because she wasn't getting the attention from me, she cheated on me, slept with my best mate."

"That's awful."

"I didn't take it too well either. I ended up getting into a fight with the bloke and was kicked out of school."

"How are your parents now?" Spike couldn't look at me, which I thought was strange for him and when he directed his gaze at the table I knew something was up.

"My da' died before I was born and my mother brought me up on her own, that was why it was so hard for me to leave her. However after Drusilla tried to kill me, and herself, she thought it best that I come out here, she went to school with Mr Giles and that is how I ended up here. He found me a place to stay in his building and I've been here ever since, I go back and visit on breaks, but that's it."

"And Drusilla is she..?"

"No she's still alive. She did a stint in rehab and a mental institution but she's out now, but not allowed anywhere near me or my family."

"Wow Spike… I had no idea, that's awful. I can't believe you trusted me to tell me all this."

"I had to Buffy; you mean the world to me. We can't have any secrets from each other." I smiled at Spike and wiped a tear from Spike's cheek, one that he didn't know he had shed.

"I guess it's my turn now then…" I said clasping onto my now cool cup of coffee, not finding any warmth from the cup. Spike turned his attention to me, I knew I must have looked worried, If not I sure felt like I was but I took a deep breath and began to tell Spike my story.


	9. Sweet Proposition

**Chapter Nine - Sweet Proposition**

I leaned back in my chair, the dregs of my coffee now forgotten. I couldn't believe how long I had been talking and more to the fact, Spike was still listening. He definitely was a great catch and I knew then that I didn't get him by being the most popular girl in school and that he liked me for who I was, I knew that I had finally changed and got everything I ever wanted, and I liked it.

"So there you go my life story. I was the most popular girl in school, did and got everything I wanted, I sound like a spoiled bitch don't I?"

Spike looked up at me then and smiled, I knew he was thinking that I was and I wasn't surprised. "Well yea in the beginning you were…But you had a tough time of it though, what happened with your dad was a shock and believe me if I ever meet this Parker guy, I will rip him limb by limb. You didn't deserve what happened to you at all. But that's not who you are now, you more than anyone deserve a fresh start."

"I know… I'm glad we moved when we did. I couldn't take the staring in the corridors anymore. After Parker used me, even my friends were calling me a slut. No one was interested in hearing my side of the story." I said, looking back down at the table again, the painful memories coming back to me. "In LA if you didn't have the look, the life and the money, then you were out. When dad left, we lost everything, I lost everything."

"It's worked out for the good though right?" Spike asked. I couldn't help but smile at the uncertainty in his voice, so I grabbed hold of Spike's hand again and gave it a squeeze. I smiled at him to let him know that I was happy, and more importantly, happy with him. "I take that as a yes then."

We spent hours in the café, talking and exchanging stories. I really felt like I knew Spike now, inside and out. I could also see why he was the way he was when we first met. I promised him that what he told me I would take it to the grave. It was his choice to tell his friends if he wanted and when he was ready, but deep down that didn't matter they already liked him for who he was. I also knew why he didn't tell the rest of the gang his story as well, the same reason as me, they didn't need to know and we didn't need the pity.

When we had realised how late it had got, Spike walked me home and we said goodnight. I went to bed with a huge smile on my face.

The next day at school all Anya and Cordelia could talk about was the prom. Cordy of course was well known as the most popular girl in school and was expected to be crowned prom queen and if she wasn't then there would be hell to pay! In the question of Prom King, it was expecting Angel would be crowned, seeming as he was considered to be all round Mr Popular, class president, captain of the soccer team and the guy all the girls wanted to pull. This was one thing that bothered Xander, it shocked everyone in the popular crowd when Cordelia and Xander had got together, but now it was widely accepted. Well it had to be, Cordelia wouldn't let it be any other way! But still Xander didn't want Cordelia anywhere near Angel, due to his reputation as a ladies man, it didn't do much for his confidence either or low self-esteem.

Spike found it fitting to ask me properly to the prom, just in case there were any crossed wires or before anyone else asked me! As if I would let my hunk of a man down! It was quite sweet actually, during computing he asked me in an instant message; from right next me as well! I couldn't resist sending back yes and giving him a big kiss, earning myself a scolding from Miss Calendar!

Willow and Oz were obviously going together as were Xander and Cordelia. Somehow Anya had managed to bag Angel as her date; she mentioned something about him being a sure thing. Sometimes I think that girl is too horny for her own good! Tara was going with one of the guys from Oz's band and of course Spike and I were going together.

I was instructed by Willow, Tara, Cordelia and Anya that we were going to go shopping Saturday morning, Prom dress shopping of course, minus the guys. Seeming as it was already Friday, I waved goodbye to my usual Saturday afternoon lay-in. The guys had actually been instructed by Cordelia that they also had to go tux shopping, if they actually did would be another story. Anya had also mentioned something about sexy lingerie shopping as well; I'm hoping I can skip that.


	10. Shopping

**Chapter Ten - Shopping**

I hate those Saturday morning lie-in's that you can't enjoy. Especially the ones when you know you have to get up and have plenty of things to do, but with no motivation to do it. I was instructed by Cordelia that I had to meet her and the rest of the girls at the mall at 10am sharp for our military style organised shopping mission. I swear if Cordelia were in the army she would be the scariest General ever.

As I laid there trying to shield my eyes from the infernal bright shining sun and the annoying shrill buzzing from my alarm clock, all I wanted to do was roll over and go back asleep. After leaning up to turn off the annoying contraption I lay back down again and could feel my eyes slowly beginning to close when the phone began to ring.

"Arrrrggghhh! What does a girl have to do to get some shut eye? Hello?"

"Morning pet." Spike answered brightly.

I don't think I could have sat up quicker, or have a bigger smile on my face "Spike!"

"Just making sure you were up. Can't keep that Cordy waiting can we?"

"Urgh Thanks. I don't see why we have to go so early! It's a Saturday after all! I was hoping to get more sleep…"

"Well if you'd rather do that… But just so you know, me and the guys are going to be there tux shopping."

"I'll be ready in five minutes!"

After spending way to long choosing an outfit to wear, I couldn't have Spike thinking he was dating trailer trash now could I? I settled for something comfortable, seeming as I would be trying on dresses all day, but still added a bit of light makeup to make sure I still looked good. I managed to convince my Mom to drive me to the mall which made me only ten minutes late. Which I thought, for me, was pretty good. However being the last one to arrive made it all the more noticeable.

"Where have you been?" Cordelia stated, hand on hip, the tone of her voice making even Xander cringe. I'm sure he had been on the end of that one more than once.

"Sorry Cor, I got up late." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Duh!"

"Leave her alone Cordy, least she made it." Spike said putting his big strong arms around my waist and pulling me back towards his chest. Which caused Cordelia to huff and turn round to face the rest of the gang; I don't think she liked being spoken to like that. Especially when she knew Spike was right.

"Hey you." I said turning around in his arms.

"Hey…" Spike said giving me one of those intense looks that turns my legs to jelly and causes my stomach to flip. Spike captured my lips in a searing kiss and before I knew what he was doing, Spike's hands were moving down my back and sliding underneath my top, rubbing circles into my skin. Forgetting where we were, I let out a moan and grabbed fistfuls of his jacket until I was broken out of my haze...

"Get a room, you guys!"

"Thanks Anya!" I yelled back, scolding her as I did so.

After Spike's and my little show outside of the mall, Cordelia decided to keep us apart so we had the maximum amount of time to choose our dresses and accessories. Spike and the rest of the guys went tux shopping, although I swear I could see them heading in the direction of the arcade. Of course I would never tell Cordy that now would I?

Hours had past and I still hadn't found a dress, Willow and Tara were quick to find ones that they loved and Anya already knew the one she wanted. So in a haste to hopefully find what we were looking for Cordy, Anya and I headed to April Fools and were surprised to find the guys in there looking rather lost.

"You guys haven't got your tuxes yet?" Cordelia yelled rather shrilly as soon as she walked through the door, all of the guys had the decency to look embarrassed, except Spike of course. When Cordy wasn't looking he'd smirk at the other guys, I couldn't help but roll my eyes, sometimes boys will be boys.

Her own dress forgotten Cordy had rallied the guys round getting them measured and was helping them pick out their tuxes. I on the other hand was distracted by the dusty pink floor length gown in the shop window, which I just had to try on. Anya had already made her way over to the lingerie department and was selecting underwear for herself, or should I say Angel. After asking the shop assistant to help me retrieve the dress from the manikin in the shop window I made my way over to the dressing rooms. However before I could shut the wooden door closed, Anya was passing me some pink lacy lingerie that matched the colour of my dress exactly.

"I believe they're your size." She said giving me a wink and disappearing into the next cubical. There was no harm in trying it on was there?

Now I know why Anya wears this stuff, I actually looked pretty good. Turning around so I could get a full 360 degree view of myself I thought oh yea, I look hot! Thinking I better get around to trying the dress on, I reached for the hanger but before I could there was a knock at the door.

"I'm getting dressed in here!"

Another knock followed "Hey! Cut it out Anya, I'm hardly wearing anything."

"Even better luv."

"Spike?" I know I shouldn't have done it, but I grabbed hold of my discarded t-shirt to cover up my state of undress. But unfortunately it didn't do a very good job, seeming as I was wearing so little the t-shirt didn't cover up much. I unlocked the door, only for it to be pushed open by Spike, letting himself in and locking the door behind him. Turning around he got the first full view of me.

"Buffy, what are you doing… are you naked under there?"

"Erm, well … I … umm … erm … not exactly. Anya gave me this lingerie to try on. I didn't want to, but I was curious, so I just did … I haven't even tried the dress on yet."

"Let me see."

"I don't think that's a good idea, I wanted it to be a surprise."

"I meant what you're wearing now." Spike said with a lustful look in his eyes.

"I REALLY don't think that's a good idea."

"Please?" He said pouting; I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Alright, but I'm not sure that I'm going to buy them." I said slowly lowering the t-shirt away from myself.

"God Buffy." Spike said eyes wide and fully dilated. Before I knew it he was upon me, grabbing hold of my waist and pulling me roughly against him, kissing me soundly on the mouth and trailing bruising kisses along my neck.

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Miss, Erm Miss… these aren't co-ed changing rooms."

I could hear Spike physically growl as he stepped away from me. "How come we are always interrupted?"

"Miss? Miss! Please can you ask your gentleman friend to leave?"

I reluctantly let Spike out of the changing room and after I finished dressing. I exited the changing room to find the agitated sales clerk still standing there.

"I'll take these." I said holding up the lingerie.


	11. Prom

**Prom**

The last week had gone by in a flash and unsurprisingly all we could talk about was the prom, well us girls anyway. We had all managed to get all the dresses and tuxes sorted with not too much of a problem. All the boys, dressed by Cordelia, as they were too idle to pick outfits themselves, were to be dressed in plain black tuxes. We girls of course had spent weeks choosing just the right dress. Cordelia had picked out a charcoal coloured, floor length, glittery, halter neck dress from April Fools. Anya had gone for red floor length, spaghetti strap dress with black lace over the top, Willow had chosen a floor length burgundy silk dress with a matching wrap and Tara had chosen a knee length black dress and glammed it up with diamond accessories. We were going to knock the guys off there feet…

On any other Friday night I would be settling into my big comfy yummy sushi pyjamas about to have a huge movie fest with Xander, Willow and the rest of the gang. But on this Friday night, it was prom night, and I was feeling sick, a feeling that usually comes on most Friday nights. Usually due to too much cherry Garcia ice cream, but this was nerves, pure nerves. And after Spike's and my little snog fest in the April Fools changing rooms, the sexual tension between us was more heightened than usual and I didn't think the formal wear would help much in this matter either, or if he found out I was wearing the underwear I was trying on during said snog fest…

I had eventually managed to try my dress on, when I had got home, and it fitted me like a glove. It was a light pink, floor length, and strapless and pulled in at all the right places to show off my curves. I hadn't even shown Spike the dress yet and wanted it to be a surprise, along with the underwear from the shop. Oh my god did I just say that? Mum and Dawn had helped as much as they could with my hair and makeup. Well I didn't let Dawn too close to my makeup, as I didn't want to go looking like a clown from the nearest circus!

Sat at my vanity I was putting the finishing touches to my hair and makeup when the door bell rang and I knew it was Spike and the rest of the gang, I was fine, really, no nerves at all…

'DAWN PASS ME THAT PAPER BAG!!!'

Breathing deeply from the paper bag trying to calm myself I eventually got myself together and began to make my way downstairs. I could already hear my mom fussing over Willow and Xander, telling them how grown up they looked, and of course Anya and Cordelia were getting impatient, as they usually do when they have to wait for more than 30 seconds. Suddenly realising that I had to come down the staircase on my own, I had a bout of the nerves again, which were quickly alleviated when I locked eyes with Spike and continued too as I made my way down the stairs. I knew he was speechless, all he could do was gawp at me and after an elbow in the ribs from Willow he managed to give me the corsage he had brought for me. Once he had managed to regain his higher brain function and had placed the corsage on my wrist he told me I looked beautiful and gave me a kiss on the cheek, this in course set my mom off, tears rolling down her cheeks, and she didn't do a very good job at hiding it either.

And after the inevitable picture taking that we all knew was coming we made our way outside to the limo we had hired so we could all go to the dance together. We had hired a black one at Spikes preference.

As we pulled up outside the front of Sunnydale high we could see masses and masses of couples entering the building, dressed in there finest and as we stepped out the limo 'Celebrate' by Kool and the Gang could be clearly heard from the filled gym. I looked up at Spike, he rolled his eyes, and I grinned from ear to ear, I knew it was going to be corny and so cliché, but it would be so disappointing if it wasn't would it? I grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him in the direction of the gym, and the very corny music.

Once inside we queued up for our couple pictures for the year book, being told it was mandatory by the year book staff. There was no particular 'theme' to the prom but it looked like a scene out of Moulin rouge. Large drapes lined the walls and the tables scattered around the dance floor held masses of candles, the subtle candle light in contrast with the dark drapes made the whole scene very sensual. It was amazing to see everyone scrub up so well, even the nerds had made a real effort, if it wasn't for the fact that they were huddled together next to the buffet table looking rather uncomfortable about the whole situation we had never have noticed them. But some things never change, discreetly as she could Faith, the resident badass of Sunnydale high was spiking the punch with a rather large hip flask. Taking a large swig of what was left as she stumbled away into a dark secluded corner of the gym, all I could think of was what poor unsuspecting guy she probably hid back there.

The dance went without a hitch, Angel and Cordelia had won prom queen and king, as expected. Much to Xander's chagrin, He was happy for her of course but couldn't wait to pull her away after the spotlight dance!

Spike helped me out of the limo and led me down the path to my house. Once we reached the porch we turned and waved to the rest of the gang still in the limo and watched them pull away. I laughed at the rather drunk Willow hanging out of the sunroof being hastily pulled in by Xander and Oz, someone had had too much of the punch!

Once we were both able to stop laughing I smiled back at Spike as he let go of my hand and he smiled at me, but the smile never seemed to reach his eyes. I didn't ponder about this too much as his arms were soon circling my waist and he pulled me towards him. I made the first move lightly touching my lips to his and spike soon deepened the kiss and in no time by back was pressed against the front door his hands touching any part of me he could get at. Perhaps tonight would be the night. I place my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. His touch was driving me into a frenzy I moaned into his mouth as his had grazed my breast. Before I knew what was happening the world came rushing back.

"Buffy we can't do this" He said stepping away from me and beginning to step backwards down the porch steps

I looked on in confusion why did he just walk away? "Wha?"

"I'm sorry" Spike said without letting me finish and made his way down the path, only turning back once. There's no doubt he saw me stood there, tears already streaming down my face. I waited until I couldn't see him anymore just hoping that this was a joke and that he would be coming back, any second now…

But he didn't


	12. Pain

**Pain**

Walking into the dark confines of the house and taking a huge sigh of relief that Mom hadn't waited up for me I quickly but quietly made my way upstairs. I didn't even realise that I had held my breath until I had shut my bedroom door and had laid flat against it, struggling to breathe when I had finally let the air rush back into my lungs. It was then the tears finally began to fall again and sobs wracked my body making my whole body shake. Unable to control myself, and for fear of waking up Mom I threw myself onto the bed and cried into my pillow.

I didn't take long for the memories of the night before to come rushing back to me, less than a second after the sun hit my face and I opened my eyes did I feel the painful tug of my heart again.

Wanting nothing more than to just sleep the day away I got of my bed and made my way over to window to shut out the offending sun to do just that, but catching a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror I was silently glad that I hadn't remembered to close the curtains when I had got home. I looked a mess, two thick lines of mascara adorned my cheeks and my once perfect up do stuck out at all angles where it had come free. If Mom were to see me, like this, there would be a lot of explaining to do and I wasn't up for that. Deciding that a shower was the best option I unzipped myself from my dress, unclipped the rest of my hair, slipped on my welcoming terry rope, and quietly made my way down the hallway to the shower.

I stood there until it ran cold, palms pressed against the wall as I let the water run over my head. I barely noticed the change until my body began to shake.

Walking out of the shower in a daze, I walked straight into my Mom.

"You alright honey? You were in there a long time" Mom said resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine, just zoned out is all" I said flashing her something that I hoped looked like a reassuring smile. She seemed to frown for a second but then matched my smile with one of her own. I knew she knew something was wrong really, Moms always do but for now, this was enough.

"Okay sweetie, I've got to dash out to the gallery a large shipment is coming today and I'm going to help out, dawn is at Janice's and I've left money on the counter for dinner" She kissed me on the cheek and waved me goodbye as she passed me in the hallway. Making my way back to my room I'd almost made it through the door when she called me from the foot of the stairs making my heart stop 'please don't ask me about last night, please don't ask me about last night!'

"Oh and Buffy? No pizza!"

I didn't know what to do with myself after my Mom left although I didn't want to be probed about what happened last night I just felt like I needed her there. I knew she understood how I felt even without knowing what had happened.

I changed into my pyjamas as soon as Mom had left and lay on my bed without bothering to dry my hair, and that's where I remained for most of the day. I knew as soon as the phone rang it was Willow not wanting to speak to anyone I let it ring out knowing the machine would pick it up.

"Buffy pick up, I know your there I've seen your Mom at the gallery so I know your alone. Come on Buffy if you don't pick up I'm coming over there!"

Outwardly groaning I leaned over and picked up the receiver finally realising how damp my pillow was "Will, please just leave me alone"

"Come on Buff, please talk to me. I know you're upset"

"You know what's going on then" I said flopping back down on to the pillow

"Course I do, Oz went over to Spikes earlier he didn't say much just said he'd done something stupid. But I'm guessing a conversation between the two of them wouldn't last very long anyway. But we assumed it would be to do with something between the two of you"

"If I refuse to talk to you are you just going to match over here and beat it out of me anyway?"

"You know I will"

I spent the next 30 minuets explaining everything that happened last night before, during and after the prom. With Willow as she does offering advice and words of comfort while I cried my heart out over the phone but deep down I knew she was right but it kept niggling me in the back of my mind, id been hurt before and I wasn't about to let history repeat itself.

"You need to talk to him Buffy"

"I can't face it, what if he's had enough of me already, did I come on too strong or maybe I was too frigid?"

"I don't think that's the problem, you guys are perfect for each other"

"Well he doesn't think so"

"You don't know that, you need to talk to him, I don't know the ins and outs of his past but I know he's been hurt he's a mysterious guy if any one knows him best its you and if you're going to figure out what's going on in his head your just…"

"Going to have to talk to him, I know, just not yet"

"Okay then but just make sure you do, see you on Monday"

"Bye"

Still holding the phone in my hand, I looked over at clock on my bedside table it read 18:45 and for the first time I realised it was dark outside 'when did that happen?' Weighing the phone in my hand only one thing sprang to my mind, dialling the very familiar and listening to the dial tone I smiled to myself

"Hi, can I order a pizza please?"


End file.
